Sabrina's Story

My name is Sabrina...

I want to tell you my recovered memory story, because it validates the theory of repressed memory, in terms of the disputed one-time event instead of a recurring trauma, and because it is not very sensational and therefore may be regarded by skeptics as more believable.

When I was 4 or 5, my 12-14 year-old neighbour (boy) somehow convinced me to come into his basement and 'play doctor' with him. I remember very little of what happened, but I know that at some point I lay on a table without pants, and that he (standing beside the table) inspected my vagina using his hands.

I had no knowledge of this event, until one day when I was about 14 I was standing in my backyard on a sunny summer day, and suddenly remembered it, as if I was recalling a dream or seeing movie stills flash in my mind. I don't know whether anything happened before the memory to trigger its recovery. I felt surprised by the memory, and felt a sensation of puzzlement, which I attribute to my response when it actually occured.

Soon after I told my mother about it, saying that I wasn't sure if it was a memory or a dream, but that I knew and could name the boy in it. She told me that it had in fact happened, and that I had told her about it when I came back home.

I don't think that the event was especially traumatic for me. I know from having lost my virginity years later that my hymen had been intact, nor did my mother mention any lingering pain or bruising on me, so I don't think anything serious happened. Nor do I have any lingering phobias or unexplained aversions or strange behaviour patterns related to sex.

I think that I simply could not understand, as a 4 or 5 year-old, what was taking place or the boy's motive, and because I couldn't understand or absorb the implications, I forgot about it until I was ready to understand it again.

Until that time I didn't even believe in recovered memories, but I know they exist now. So I am sharing my factual and dispassionate account, to validate the story of others.